0 comments Friday, August 31, 2007

This is an exemplary story, it’s just not very clear what it’s an example of. Either way, keep this away from the children. It also has nothing to do with the Brazilian crisis, the apartheid, the situation in Central America, or the Middle East, or man’s adventure on this Earth. It is situated on the somewhat lower level of the minute afflictions of today’s middle class. Anyways. It happened to a friend of mine. Fictional, of course.
He was coming back home as he usually did, loyally and routinely, at the same time every day. A man nearing forty, at the age where he knows he will never own a casino in Samarkand, or have diamonds in his teeth, but can still expect a few surprises in his life, like winning the lottery or getting a flat tire. He got a flat tire. With difficulty he succeeded in pulling over to the sidewalk and was preparing for battle against the jack, a medium sized jack that probably did not work. He got the jack to work, lifted the car, changed the tire, and was closing the trunk when his wedding ring slipped off his oily finger and fell on the asphalt. He took a step to pick up the ring, but accidentally kicked it. The ring bounced off the tire of a passing car and flew into a sewer drain. There, it disappeared right before his eyes, a sight that took him quite a bit of time to process.
He cleaned off his hands as best he could, got in the car and drove home. He started thinking about what he would tell his wife. He imagined the scene. Him coming home and answering his wife’s questions before she asked them.
-You will not believe what happened!
-What?
-Something incredible.
-What?
-If I tell you, you won’t believe me.
-Tell me!
-Don’t you notice anything different about me? Isn’t something missing?
-No.
-Look.
He would show her his finger, ring-less.
-What happened?
And he would tell her. Everything, just as it had happened. The jack. The oil. The ring on the asphalt. The involuntary kick. The ring’s flight and disappearance.
-Wow, she would say, calmly.
-Isn’t that unbelievable?
-No. It’s perfectly possible.
-Well, yeah. I…
-YOU SONFABITCH!
-Honey…
-Do you think I’m stupid? Do I look like a clown? I know what happened to that wedding ring. You took it off to be with another woman. Right? To go on a date. You come home at this hour and have the balls to invent this ridiculous story only an idiot would believe.
-But, baby…
-I know where that ring is. It’s lost in the shaggy carpet of some seedy motel. Down the drain of some big, round jacuzzi. You bastard!
And she would leave, with the kids, without another word.

He arrived home and said nothing. Why was he late? Traffic. Why that face? Nothing, nothing at all. Then, finally:
-Where’s your wedding ring?
And he said:
-I took it off to be with another woman. To go on a date. I lost it in the motel. There. I have no excuses. If you want to end our marriage now, I will understand.
She looked like she was going to cry. Then she ran to the bedroom and slammed the door. Ten minutes later she came out. Said that this meant that their marriage was in a crisis, but that they, together, could overcome it.
-The most important thing is that you didn’t lie to me.

And she walked to the kitchen to make dinner.

2 comments Thursday, August 30, 2007

This is what happened: Vânia finally conceded and agreed to meet Rogério in an apartment in Copacabana. But insisted on absolute security. Nobody could see her entering or leaving the building. If her husband found out, if her husband even had the faintest inkling…Rogério swore that no one would see her.
-This is not a busy street. I pay the doorman not to see anything. The next-door neighbors are only home at night. The neighbors on the other side are never around. Their apartment might even be empty. There is no risk. Trust me.
They worked out the minutia of Operation Meet-up, or Operation Finally, as Rogério referred to it. She would tell her husband that she was going to Copacabana to shop. Including the trip to and from Grajaú, they would have two full hours. From six to eight. She would arrive the building alone, wearing sunglasses and a scarf over her head, and would go up to his apartment. He would be waiting. Right? Vânia hesitated:
-My God. Antônio. Our children… If someone finds out.
No one was going to find out. No one would see her. They would have two full, wonderful hours. Away from the world, away from the eyes and tongues of Grajau. Vânia sighed and agreed. Six o’clock, then.
At six Vânia knocked on Rogério’s apartment door. In addition to the sunglasses and scarf, Vânia had popped the collar on her coat and wore a bandana over her nose and mouth. Everyone on the streets had turned to look at this woman, covered up from head to toe despite the heat, trying so hard not to be noticed.
She was nervous.
-If Antônio finds out…
Rogério tried to calm her. He took her to his room. They began to undress. Then they heard noises in the hall. Screams, running. Vânia’s eyes were open wide.
-It’s Antônio!”
-It can’t be. Calm down. I’ll go see what it is.
Rogério was in the middle of his living room, in his underwear, when he heard them knock on the door. Violently. He hesitated. It couldn’t be her husband. Impossible. Such racket… He would have had to bring half of Grajaú with him to cause such a racket. A neighborhood punitive expedition to defend the neighborhood’s honor. I’m getting lynched, he thought. Dismembered by the middle class. A martyr. The first pagan saint of the Southside. Then, amidst the violent knocking he heard:
-Open up! It’s the police! Open the door or we will knock it down!
Rogério opened the door. He was thrown against the wall by an avalanche yelling men armed with machine guns. 

-Search everything. The kitchen! Double-time! 
Rogério yelled louder. He wanted to know what this was about. The detective explained that they had invaded Gatão’s apartment next door, but he had escaped through the maid’s quarters. He was in there. And they were going to catch him. Gatão, the most wanted criminal in all of Rio. This time he wasn’t getting away.
The cops that had entered the bedroom opened the closet and found Vânia, half-naked and shivering in fear.
Here he is! yelled one of them uncontrollably, before realizing that it wasn’t Gatão, that it was a woman, and let her go.
Vânia ran out of the room. She ran through the living room screaming, not knowing whether to cover her face or breasts. She ran into the kitchen and fell in Gatão’s arms.
Rogério and the detective ran into the kitchen after her, and saw Gatao holding a knife to her throat.
-One more step and I’ll cut her! One more step and I’ll cut her!
The detective held out his hand, gesturing to detain the other cops who had come in after them. He said,
-Alright Gatão. Alright. Don’t cut her. Let’s just talk.
Gatão demanded that everyone leave the kitchen. He would communicate with them through Vânia. He stuck her head through the now half-closed kitchen door and told her to say he demanded a car to get the hell out of there. Or else he'd cut her. Vania stuttered. She couldn’t speak. Rogério said,
-Calm down, Vânia. Easy. Trust me.
Vânia was finally able to relay the criminal’s demands. The detective said alright. He would get him the car. But he needed time. Photographers and reporters showed up. When Gatão put Vânia’s head through the door crack again there was already a live television crew in the living room, cameras, lights and all.
-A-and he s-s-says he’ll wait f-five minutes and that’s-s i-it, she said, eyes squinting from the lights that shone in her direction.
The reporter put a microphone right by her mouth. Gatão then pulled her back into the kitchen. The reporters interviewed Rogério. Who was this woman?
-A friend…
-Girlfriend?
-More or less.
The detective sent word to Gatão that the car was ready. Gatão then left the kitchen with an arm around Vânia’s naked waist, with a knife to her throat. If anybody did anything, he would cut her.
-Easy, Vânia. Easy. Trust me, he said. His eyes were open very wide.
Gatão took Vânia down the stairs. The TV crew and camera followed right behind them. There was a large crowd gathered outside the building. One police officer cleared a path through the crowd of curious by-standers.
-Back off or I’ll cut her!
-Hey, that’s Gatão! It’s Gatão! They won’t ever catch him.
Gatão got in the car with Vânia and they sped off.

In Grajaú, the children screamed:
-Daddy, Daddy! Mommy’s on TV!

At some point, somewhere in the state of Rio de Janeiro, Gatão told the driver to stop the car. He told him to turn off the headlights, wait 15 minutes and get the hell out of there. Or else he would cut Vânia up. He got Vânia out of the car and led her through the thick brush in the dark.
-They'll never catch me. Never. I’ll disappear.
When Gatão finally let go of Vânia’s wrist and told her she was free to find a way home, Vânia thought about Antônio, thought about Grajaú and begged:
-Take me with you! Take me with you!
Today she lives with Gatão in Rezende and never cheats on him. She learned her lesson.



Or: Vânia didn’t get home until the next morning. Ready for anything. Ready to die. She deserved everything Antonio would do to her. On the sidewalk outside her house, she heard the neighbor:
-So, Vânia? On television, huh.
The kids ran out, excited.
-Mommy! You were on TV!”
And behind them came Antônio, beaming, smiling.
-TV? Yes, m’am. Looked like Dina Sfat.”

0 comments

He arrived at the beach on a Tuesday, which was weird. When the kids came home from playing and swimming in the ocean, they found their father on the veranda. “Huh,” they remarked. Moments later his wife came home and also thought it was strange that he was home on a Tuesday, especially with that look on his face. She immediately thought the worst. “Is it my mother?!” No, no, her mother was fine. Everything in the city was fine. He had missed her, got in the car and drove to the beach. That was it.
Later, away from the kids, he told her the truth.
-I heard you have a boyfriend.
The woman laughed loudly. Who could have said such a thing?
-I heard… he said, vaguely. A surfer.
-Me, dating a surfer?!
She couldn’t understand how he could believe such a thing. Her! A surfer! He became increasingly dramatic.
-I'm worried about the children.
-But this is crazy! Me, dating some boy?
-I did not mention the surfer’s age, he said, as if this undoubtedly signaled her incrimination. She tried to play it off.
-Look, they're all boys around here. Young or old.”
He did not find it amusing. He was convinced. Maybe he deserved it. Her infidelity. But he still worried about the kids. She hugged him. But what was that? After years of marriage, such mistrust? They had never mistrusted one another. Ever. She backed away and said:
-Marjory is behind this, isn’t she? I bet this is her doing.
Nope. It wasn’t Marjory. It was an anonymous phone call. He had tried so hard not to give the phone call any thought. He had made a conscious effort not to believe it. But he couldn’t resist.
-I’m sorry…
She hugged him again, teary-eyed. Made him promise one thing.
-Let’s not ever doubt each other. Promise?
-Promise.
They held each other and kissed for a long time, until one of the children came to show them the frog they had found in the bathroom.
-Are you sleeping here tonight? - the woman asked.
-No. I have an appointment in the city early tomorrow morning.
He returned to Porto Alegre late that afternoon. His appointment was actually that very night, and her name was Maitê. The whole anonymous phone call story had given him a sort of preventative habeas corpus. What the hell, he thought. The world in the shape that it’s in, this could be his last summer. But he couldn’t look the doorman in the eye.