Daphne could not believe her ears. Her left ear, specifically, through which she heard Peter Vest-Pocket’s voice, on the phone.
- Daphne, are you there? It’s me, Peter.
When she finally regained her senses, the small and lively Daphne – that’s how she had been described as a debutant in Tattler a few years back – did her best to control her voice.
- You mean the dirty, betraying, disgusting, lacking all decency and character, stupid, despicable Peter Vest-Pocket?
- The very same. It’s good to know you still love me.
- You, you…
- Try pig.
- Pig!
- See, that’s why I left you, Daphne. You always do what I tell you to do. It was like living with a german shepherd. Now, calm down.
- You fucking pig!
- Ok. Now take it easy. Ask yourself why I’m calling you after two years.
- I couldn’t care less. And it’s been two years, two weeks and three days.
- I need you, Daphne.
- Peter…
- I do. I know I was an asshole, but I’m not proud. I am sorry.
- Oh! Peter. Don’t fuck with me…
- Daphne, do you remember that week in Taormina?
- Do I…
- The jasmines in the hotel lobby? The olives and white wine at dusk in the café by the piazza?
- Peter, you’re making me cry…
- And that time we went skinny dipping, in the moonlight, and that security guard asked for our papers, and the three of us started laughing and he ended up taking his clothes off too?
- No. I don’t remember that.
- Well, must have been another time then. And that bed and breakfast in Rapallo, Daphne?
- Oh! The old man with the accordion, who only played Torna a Sorriento and Tea for Two.
- And that birthday party we mistakenly went to where I ended up doing my Maurice Chevalier with laryngitis impression.
- Peter…
- Remember the stuffed red pepper Signora Lumbago made, in Rapallo?
- I can almost taste it.
- What was that secret ingredient she used, which she refused to tell us until we threatened to tell her husband about the affair with the waiter?
- It was.. hold on.. it was basil.
- Are you sure?
- Yes. Oh, Peter, Peter… I just can’t stay mad at you…
- Great. Thanks, Daphne. We should meet up sometime. Bye.
- Bye?! BYE?! You said you needed me, Peter!
- I did. I’m making that stuffed red pepper for a lady friend and could not for the life of me remember that secret ingredient. You really helped me out, Daphne, and…
- You animal! You insensitive piece of shit! Son of a…
- Daphne, I already told you I was sorry. You want me to grovel?
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Thursday, October 30, 2008
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